It's (probably) Not Your Fault!


I know it can be difficult to make changes in your lifestyle in order to improve your health.  These typically involve diet changes because your doctor tells you to lose weight and/or improve your cholesterol or fasting blood sugar.  I know because I've been there and felt the frustration.  In fact, I had gotten to the point where I felt it was impossible, I didn't have the willpower and couldn't figure out how to lose the weight or improve my cholesterol or blood sugar.

In retrospect, now that I have learned and practice a better lifestyle approach to health, I can see that there are probably three scenarios why people might be having trouble.  For the most part, in these scenarios, any failures in seeing success are probably not your fault.  Here are the three scenarios as I see them.

You are following the recommended approach to the letter

In this case you've listened to your doctor tell you that your cholesterol and/or blood pressure and/or fasting blood sugar tests are getting too high.  You're told that you may need to start medication soon but you can give lifestyle changes a try.  You're told you should lose some weight, you should follow a healthy diet (and a specific diet may or may not be suggested,) and you need to exercise more.  All of the suggestions, at least in my experience, are pretty vague, and may leave you without much to go on for how to proceed.  But, you take on the challenge, thinking you really don't want to start new medications and be stuck on them for the rest of your life, and you rigorously follow the "My Plate" guidelines (or DASH diet, or whatever.)  You might start walking regularly (great!) or join a Gym and "work your butt off" four or five times a week. The result: probably little or no positive change.  You've likely lost little to no weight or you may have even gained weight, you don't really feel any more energetic, and you may or may not have seen any change in your lab tests.  Or you've seen positive changes, but then over time your health results degrade once again, even though you rigorously follow the recommended action plan.

Your doctor may say that you need to try harder, and/or give up and prescribe medication to improve your "numbers." This implies that you just didn't try hard enough and with just a little more willpower, you could make progress.  But you know you've done what you've been told, to the letter, and you still aren't seeing the results you would like.  You assume this is due to the genes you've  inherited or that it's just a part of the process of growing older.  The problem is not you, it’s not your genes.  Your genes want you to be healthy and fit.  The problem is the advice you’ve been given.

You're trying to follow the recommended approach,
but have trouble sticking to it

In this case, you think you are starting off well.  You're eating what's been recommended, you're even exercising.  But after that workout at the gym, you stop in for some ice cream.  (Hey, you've earned it, and after all, you chose the low fat frozen yogurt!).  You end up hitting the fridge for a midnight snack, or giving in to a rich desert at a business dinner.  I've been there too!  The thing is, after I would give in to that temptation, I would feel guilty and maybe even tell myself I wouldn't do that next time.  Of course, I would indeed give in to the temptation the next time.  After going through that cycle, it only leads to frustration and guilt, and an even lower level of willpower.

Again, I think this is not your fault!  The current conventional wisdom regarding a healthy diet requires a huge amount of willpower.  Some may be able to do it, but for the people who most need the help, this diet causes the cravings, and makes it virtually impossible to succeed.  Just look at the levels of obesity, type 2 diabetes.  That conventional wisdom doesn't seem to be helping, and I don't believe that most of these people are lazy sloths that have no willpower and ignore what the health care system is telling them.

You don't want to try to change because it looks too darn hard, and besides, you've probably inherited it

OK, so maybe this one is partly your fault.  You need to decide to make a change if change is going to happen.  But you may have been misled.  1. You've been misled about how hard it is -- you've seen "Biggest Loser" or imagine people constantly working out at a gym and the hell those people go through to lose weight ... or 2. This problem runs in your family so why should you try to fight it since it would be a losing battle.

While I know it can be hard to make changes in your life, following a good plan of eating real food, and strictly limiting consumption of grains, sugar, and sugary and starchy fruits and vegetables, if you give it a real try, can make it much easier once you've made the adjustment.

Except for maybe a very limited few, I also don't believe that it is pre-ordained in your genes that you should become obese and sick, even if that's the fate of your parents or siblings.  I truly believe that for most everyone, your genes want you to be healthy, and you just have to give them the right raw materials and environmental signals to work with.  If this wasn't true, I don't think we'd be here as a species, we would have already died out.

So it's (probably) not your fault!  There is a way to turn things around with your life and health.  You just need to find and stick with what works, and I'd strongly suggest that the advice on these pages give you a real advantage in making that work.

Change can be daunting and I know it does take some willpower to get started.  So, find someone who has done it and succeeded and find out how they've done it, or find a coach you can trust.  The Primal Blueprint Certified Expert program is now available to start providing these experts. (If you're in the central Tennessee area, I may be able to help.) Use the information on these pages, or the references I've suggested.  Just don't give up.  The conventional wisdom has conspired to make it seem like it's your fault, but there is a way to change things to your advantage.